TMM117 Be What You Need From Others

Today’s message is actually a really simple one. I want to talk about the difference between needs and wants and who’s actually in charge of supporting you during this period.

Newsflash, it’s actually you!

Look at all the things that you think you need from other people right now whether it’s on a financial level and emotional level, a spiritual level and really stop and pause for a second and ask how you can actually be that for yourself?

Be What You Need #1

One of the most important things that we do when we go through a journey of connected leadership is to realise that instead of always consuming information and looking outward for validation and recognition, whether it’s a promotion or a job title, or the number of likes that you get on an Instagram post that the greatest asset and

The greatest ally you’ll ever have is being able to protect, to provide and to connect with yourself.
Union with Self

During times when there’s been so much disruption and the proverbial your life is turned upside down.

  • We’re taught often in society to look outward and to wait for someone to come in and give us a solution. That’s where expectations come from.
  • If you’re listening/reading this today, I want you to consider the importance of what can you be for yourself?

How can you use this time to start going within and reflecting on your own inner wisdom, your own inner knowledge, your own power, your own conductivity, and actually starting to discover that you know a lot more, and you’re probably capable of a lot more than you ever imagined.

Often, it’s only when we’ve lost everything that we start to become everything for ourselves.

Let’s start with that journey.

  • What environment can you create for yourself?
  • What new sense of learning and purpose and connection can you provide for yourself?
  • What revelations and understanding and kindness can you provide for yourself?

The Old Frameworks May Not Work Anymore
When you start to go through this process is that you often realise that the decision making frameworks and the constructs for success were based on external validation, or actually trusting other people’s opinion so more than ever right now, you’re being asked to trust your own opinion.

What happens if that’s never been the case?

  • If that since an early age has been taken out of you, if the thought of common sense has been eradicated, and backing yourself was really never an option because you always were told that you had to ask if this is the right thing to do.
  • Once you’ve come to terms with the fact then you’re willing to actually see what superpowers you have, the next step is to really take the process and undertake the press pause which is stopped going to look at conspiracy theory videos.

Stop waiting for other people to swoop in and sit down and ask yourself, what do I need from others? How can I give that to myself? :

  • What do I want the most?
  • How can I start creating it for myself?
  • What am I really capable of?

#2 Pause and Take Time To Reflect

Just sit for a second and allow the dust to settle.

Allow the blurts, the ego, the busy mind to get out of the way and the quiet thoughts sit there permanently that you probably can’t hear come to the surface.

It will require you to probably provide a safe, quiet spot without interruptions.

There’ll be many excuses as to why you can’t do it. Sitting with self right now is the most powerful thing you can do.

That means switching off the noise of what everyone else thinks you should be doing, thinks you should be, thinks you should act, has to do, have to deliver all those things.

Stop with all the expectations and ask yourself, what can I be for me?

  1. What am I looking for from other people?
  2. How can I give that to myself?

Don’t expect other people to understand what you need and want if you’ve never explained it to them.

I urge you to be truly authentic – to actually start looking at yourself and creating your list of how you can protect, how you can provide, how you can create and all the wonderful gifts that you actually have that you’ve probably not even tapped into.

Be Curious

The whole art of navigating your way through a time like this is to have curiosity.

It’s to let go of the usual constraints and constructs.

Don’t wait for everything to be stripped away before you have the realisation that you actually have everything you need anyway.

It was probably right in front of you the whole time. That has to come from within.

So just to recap, how can you be the things that you need for yourself?

  1. How can you be the kindness and the compassion that you need for yourself?
  2. How can you be the unconditional love that you’re waiting for, for yourself and emanate that out to others?
  3. How can you embody all the things that you think other people should be giving you and give that to yourself.
  1. What could you do if you couldn’t fail?
  2. What would you want to learn?
  3. What would you love to master?
  4. Where would you want to put your time?

Start getting curious and stop looking for outside validation. You don’t need anyone else’s permission.

We have all the tools within, we just need to know how to access those.

I hope I’ve given you a little bit of insight that really we need to learn to embody the things that we’re wanting from others.

Most importantly, I hope I get you to take action.

To sit down with a pen and paper, to write that list of what your needs are. What you keep asking the universe for other people to give you?

Then on the right hand side of that page, see how you can do that for yourself. I’d love to hear how you get on!

Please leave a comment. Let me know, share your list, email me

Insight is wonderful, but action is where the magic happens.

On a final note:

Use this time wisely or remember you are part of the new generation of leadership leaving your own life whether that’s work or personal was absolutely the same thing. That congruence is what you’ve been urged to look for.

Enjoy, yours in Mojo


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Nikki Fogden-Moore Clients Corporate and Speaking