TMM097 BLAME LESS

Why Accountability Is The New Black and Crucial For Sustainable Success.

Monday Mojo’s are usually about topics that are right on point with a group I’m working with, client discussions or even my own life as we navigate through challenges blending personalities, purpose and profit into the mix. There are many opinions and often old sets of belief systems that will not apply in today’s modern, open and well connected landscape.

What’s going to be different about your approach in life and work this year?

Making this year remarkable and a little more seamless means taking out unnecessary bumps and self imposed road blocks. So this weeks Mojo is in trendy terms all about “Throwing less shade”.

Which is adult terms means STOP BLAMING OTHERS.

The No Blame Policy

In the companies I work with on culture and my private clients, we have a strict NO BLAME policy. There’s lots of cool fancy diagrams about this but in simple terms it means be direct, go direct and stop talking about others indirectly unless you are legitimately getting some experienced advice on what to do in a tricky situation.

If you’re busy pointing the finger at someone or something else, chances are you’re not taking care of your side of the street.  This is applicable to anyone.

No matter what your title, age or role in life we can always evolve. It’s the cool part.

It’s also called neuroplasticity** – so when people tell me “this is just the way I am” I ask them – is that how you want to remain?

  • Neuroplasticity: The brain’s ability to reorganise itself by forming new neural connections throughout life. Neuroplasticity allows the neurons (nerve cells) in the brain to compensate for injury and disease and to adjust their activities in response to new situations or to changes in their environment. (The Dictionary)

I’d also like to add : it allows for the brain to compensate for outdated belief systems and create new improved outlooks and approaches to situations in life (*The Niktionary)

Same Actions = Same Results

If you keep doing the same things you’ll get the same results. Keep going and keep growing folks!

So here’s this weeks leadership challenge.

BLAME LESS. No more blame, no more shaming. Unless you’re truly a victim in life (reading this I think not) then you’re probably the sort of person who likes to get up, dust off, learn and move forward without staying on the blame train.

Blame – who me?

We’ve all done it – the defining factor is when you realise that it’s not the way to roll and you evolve into being one of those awesome human begins who says “darn it – I almost fell for that old trick” and redirect the focus back to yourself and what you can do differently.

  • No one can make you unhappy, unsuccessful or unproductive. Take care of your side of the street.  
  • Commit to learning, growing and ditching the old habits that no longer serve you. Here’s how to start:

3 top tips to re-wire that BLAME GAME hard drive and fast track the Accountability Angel (TM)**….  

Anyhoo – here you go – this weeks gold nuggets for you leaders in life:

3 Tips to stop the Blame Game and reap the Rewards of Personal Accountability (at home and work).

1. Clarity

  • Blame game – others never do, give or act in the why you want or need blah blah etc…
  • Accountability:  We are only as good as the brief we give in life. Be prepared to be totally clear about what you want, is required and then allow room for other people to actually deliver it or not. Never set a goal or an expectation without being able to articulate what great would look like for you. All too often we expect others to “read our mind” and then get annoyed they didn’t react, perform, do etc what we wanted.

Remove your ego and be open to putting what you want out there. Companies with leaders who share the real big vision and what’s needed to get there, empower their teams to contribute and share in the success. The same goes for home. Don’t shut out someone close to you – be brave and tell them what you really need without expectation. The next step is up to the other person.

2. Conviction

  • Blame game: – Back to complaining…”I told you what I really want or would need for us to make this a success and it’s still not working” ?
  • Accountability – Are you actively reinforcing behaviour of what you want to see, actions and tasks that work towards the greater good that you’re hoping for? Or just making an announcement then forgetting to nurture that?

Are you giving others a chance and actually walking your talk? It’s no use being clear unless you are prepared to follow through and lead by example, check in and be supportive where you can if relevant. Remember set and forget, don’t try to control just ensure you are following through on your own promises.  

3. Communication

  • Blame game : it’s not me it’s them/her/him/everyone else is doing this to me, won’t listen, never get it, etc etc.
  • Accountability – no matter what goes on in life we have a choice. Either observe the behaviour, feel like it’s not right and do nothing but complain – or actually observe, take quiet action Complaining, blaming, whining and talking to others apart from the person or people directly involved only makes things worse.

Good Communication is NOT confrontation.

Remove the fight or flight mentality and stick to facts and stats. Come to what ever situation with your own thoughts and feelings in check. Not assuming those of others.

There are so many ways to rewire these old habits and if you are experiencing anything at the moment like this then please reach out – as this mojo was to get you thinking about your side of the street. Your actions, your thoughts, words and owning your space.

So to wrap = having less BLAME :

This is your life – NOW, your work day, your company to run and your relationship to show up in. Stop blaming others for what’s nor working out and start asking yourself “what can I do better, clearer, smarter and be more open about:” Don’t let great pass you by while you are stuck in old patterns.

Collaboration, team work, mutual respect, empowerment, communication and honesty are not words put in the dictionary so you can stare at them fondly. They actually have real application.

______

The best way to determine an outcome is to let go of trying so hard to make it happen.  Set your intent then do the work. Stop trying to control every thing and every situation. Be YOUR best. Don’t just turn up but BRING WHOLE YOURSELF. Wholeheartedly. It takes work to actually practice this daily. Inspire your team to do the same.

Also please before you point the finger and blame others for your unhappiness, lack of productivity, derailed success or what ever else.

Use this Mantra: “I am responsible for what I say, do and how I act”.  This is the same for at work and at home.

Let your work and your actions speak for themselves.

Be open, allow yourself to own your needs even on a base level as a manager

– what do you need from your team to get your job done exceptionally well. Tell them.

– what do you need from your partner to feel supported. Tell them.

But do so with clarity and calm. Let others meet you in the middle, bring their skills, hopes, dreams, ideas and energy to the table in their own way.

The next time someone does something to upset you or let you down – maybe ask yourself what you really needed in the first place and if you are prepared to be clear, have conviction and communicate it in a way that others can understand. What can you do yourself first?

As always – wishing you a winning week. Think like a CEO, Plan like a Visionary and Act like a Buddha(TM).

#yougotthis

Yours in Mojo for leaders in life

Coach Nikki

@nfogdenmoore

For more information on 2019 Corporate Programs and Private Coaching please email Sarah from our team on sarah@thevitalitycoach.com.au or head to thevitalitycoach.com.au

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