Mastering Interdependence – the real magic of co-creation.

I wrote a quote for my new Mojo Motivation cards the other day, on the importance of FLOW and not resisting change

“great relationships, projects and futures are forged not forced”. 


We may take a bit of a bumpy ride when we encounter finding our voice and bringing our full self to the party – but it is so worth it. What’s even better is when great leaders have a safe place to grow. 

To evolve, explore, communicate and connect. That means being around others where you can expand your thinking and maintain your momentum in life. Progress – not perfection.

Interdependence – You don’t need to go it alone

No one actually said you need to go it alone – the irony is many leaders at the top, surrounded by others often feel that’s exactly what they are doing. Going it alone.

It’s not on purpose, it’s just often the way life develops. We are also programmed to behave and respond a certain way –  the more responsibility we have – the less we take risks to evolve. A loop, if you like. 

The greater the level of responsibility  =  the less room for error. 

That, however does not translate to less room for being human, less room for growth and less room for evolution. 

In fact to ultimately lead in life, we need to do all three of those things: 

a) be human and self aware, not robotic.

b) always grow and be agile

c) evolve and be willing to change  – not our values and essence, but more often than not our approach.

So I hope this Monday Mojo© episode kicks off the conversation. 

To assist you with recognising that being too independent (step back I don’t need anyone/anything) and the subtle but dangerous codependency (a cycle of attention via always needing to stay stuck in needing something/someone) – is really missing the entire opportunity to co-create amazing lives, cities, communities and companies. 

The power of amplifying happiness, ideas, creation, design and futures. 

The magic of interdependence.

  • Not reliant – but reliable
  • Not needed – but adding value
  • Not greedy  – but graceful and collaborative
  • Not demanding – but calmly assertive and clear.

Before you reject this idea as too difficult – all you need is a sense of curiosity and the willingness to evolve. Here’s why: 

The greatest mistake any of us can ever do is to stop evolving. What may have got you to this point is good – but what lies beyond in the unknown when you fully step into possibility – is amazing. Often we just need a little light on the runway to try. 

Interdependence – Rookie errors

Afraid of conflict and avoiding change can be subconscious hand brakes – so a sense of awareness is the first step: 

Creating this dynamic does not require you to turn your life or your business upside down. It does require you however to stand in your own space and REALLY listen to your intuition. Your body knows when someone/something/someplace is good for you or not. LISTEN to that. You’ll be drawn to a project/person/place without really knowing why. Just make sure you’re open to this and not resisting the idea.

We are multifaceted creatures with the most incredible ability to create, design, define and work together. We just need the right environment to thrive rather than survive.

Here’s How:

Moving to an interdependent approach:

1. Check your surroundings – are you around people/projects/places and things that are positive and with a viewpoint of ‘possibility’ – or are you in a pattern of ‘defence mode’ – walking on eggshells and having to predict the next move, deal, opportunity and action required to avoid conflict? 

2. Check yourself – when’s the last time you looked at how you responded to a situation/conversation or decision to be made. Were you triggered and reactive, trying to be one step ahead? Or were you calm and centred knowing that the environment was safe for discussion, more of a refined and review style. 

3. Check your coordinates – are you willing to shift a few degrees to the left or right, to peak around the corner and get curious about what the possibilities could be. To forge into the unknown and let go of the ropes that may have bound you in the past patterns?

There is a distinct difference between building a culture of interdependence (the ultimate combination of skills, knowledge, shared input and evolution of ideas and a future ) vs one where people are fiercely independent (I will never rely on anyone or anything) to ambivalently co-dependent (they need me/it or else everything will collapse). 

Listen to the signs

You’ll know when you are drawn consistently to one thing, place or person. I’m not talking for convenience – I am talking about the real deal of when you are igniting the very best of self first – then aligning with people/places and things that seamlessly match with your own frequency, vision and mission in life.  

This may be taking you in a new direction at the moment, or giving you uneasiness – but that’s the EXACT point that we need to lean in. 

Not all we do and know is negative, it is just about figuring out at each lesson in life and challenge when we are presented with a fork in the road  – what to do? 

I urge you to get curious. To heed the inner voice that is gently asking you to look beyond what you may have always done, and connect with a person/project or purpose in a whole new way.  Yes it may be unknown but there lies the greatest growth of all. Plus the room to really see your own full potential. 

2020 is a cycle where old patterns that no longer serve are being forced out and new habits and perspectives have room to be forged.  Both personally and commercially.

So today I say FORGE not force. To look around the side of the box instead of trying to punch through it. 

To consider a shared game plan. A set of ideas from contribution – not one side or the other.  

  • Be human – share what you think and feel
  • Be agile – reassess what you want
  • Be brave – evolve and share what you NEED.

If you don’t take the time to define this you’ll be living someone else’s list.  

Above all else – once you have taken time for those checkpoints. Communicate those with the people in your life whether it is work or personal who want to see you THRIVE. The collaborators to success.

We create an amazing ripple effect  – ensure you’re playing in a positive pond. 

Don’t dim your lights

Yes you may find familiar faces around you may not be on that journey and may prefer to stay in the old patterns. That is ok. This is personal.

But  – do yourself a favour and have the courage to keep taking one step after another down that runway that gets lit up for you. You’ll be surprised who you inspire by your actions and those who grow with you along the way.

I am sincerely hoping that if you’re reading this you absolutely realise that YOU have the chance to rewrite the script and are very much part of this new world we are building. 

One where individual contribution, across a multi-dimensional level of personalities and expertise are allowed to thrive in their very best talented selves. Thus creating a rich and dynamic, highly productive interactive relationship based on contribution without compromising self or others. 


FYI leading isn’t just defined by a job title… we are all leaders. 

Please reach out if you want more info or help in this discussion – just know that you don’t have to be perfect – but you are encouraged to look for the possibilities that are waiting for you to grab with both hands.

You’re not alone.

Thanks for being here with me on this weeks Mojo, share, like, subscribe and you’re very much appreciated.

Yours in Mojo


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Nikki Fogden-Moore Clients Corporate and Speaking