TVC076 Mission Meaning Mojo with Mark Truelson
Meet global speaker corporate disrupter and all round great guy Mark Truelson.
Part of my Influencer and Founder Vitality series Mark’s courage to share his come back from depression to running a global consultancy is inspiring and real.
Sharing his journey from hero to zero then how he got his meaning back in life with the help of some vital friends, a sense of purpose for his family and himself.
We discuss the importance of speaking up, vulnerability, moving through moods when life throws you curve balls and how to actually accept the help you’ve been offered.
Six years ago, after having decades of a successful career, Mark decided to start his own consultancy to help other organisations sort of build their disruptive capability.
Probably at that time everything for me was fantastic. It was it flying. Out of left field my marriage dissolved. My wife decided that it was no longer for her, and suddenly my dreams became different. I became a solo dad with three kids, and the thought of building disruptive capabilities for organisations probably went down quite a bit.
The Collateral Damage of Success
Mark’s priorities got a re-shift. What was his meaning and mission now?
Mark suddenly had to become the dad he thought he should have always been, and his big focus was on the kids.
- It was really difficult to keep focused on having a career, building a consultancy, and also being a fantastic dad.
Many of the men and leaders who I work with in private coaching are on their second round of marriage and were hit hard as they climbed the corporate or business ladder and found their personal life was not growing or evolving at the same speed and alignment.
They’re often realising they were working hard and not paying the right amount of attention to home life as it was “all for family”.
Fulfilment isn’t just your financial bottom line. It’s remembering that your family, your personal well-being has to be part of that business plan as well.
On Today’s show we highlight some vital elements for regaining your meaning and your mojo
- Role Playing – The subconscious roles at home and at work
- Staying Connected – Revisiting your shared purpose
- Structures and New Game Plans
- Nurture Personal and Commercial Relationships
- Goals vs Actions
1. Role Playing – Are You Subconsciously Taking On A ‘Role’ At home
What was fascinating, when I worked in corporate, all the structures were in place. So I was probably the workaholic. Loved going to work, loved getting people excited at work.
I was sort of the general manager at work. My wife happily had the title of general manager at home. And our roles were very clearly sort of defined. When I decided to get out in the consultancy and build my own consultancy, that’s where the roles became a bit blurred. And if I look back, without trying to get that clarity between what I was doing and what my wife was doing, I think that was probably the genesis of our destruction from a relationship point of view.
Often when people go into more senior leadership positions they lose sense of having to be responsible at work.
There’s a lot of emphasis on performance and most people are cited saying, I want to do this because I want to provide for my family. At the end of the day, your personal world, being your family, seem to be last on the list.
- Whether or not you’re a founder or work for an organisation – remember to keep your blend at home as well as work and communicate. Who’s in your dream team you can talk to about the uncomfortable but necessary conversations?
2. Remembering To Stay Connected – What Is The Meaning And Purpose
Losing your own identity and your sense of purpose can trigger a number of different events.
Marks personal life got derailed – including meeting t someone who was diagnosed with brain cancer. A situation with her ex that caused lots of drama. It just kept going. So drama sort of filled my life and before I knew it, I was facing self-destruction.
In Marks words, not only did he lose his identity, he lost his connection to what work meant, plus his relationships from a personal point of view were suffering.
I couldn’t pick myself up from that sofa. If it wasn’t for my brother, who disrupted my pattern at that time, I may still have been suffering from depression, from anxiety for a long, long time. But he certainly woke me up. He got a lot of people to surround me with love.
Finally one of his friends flew out and just stayed with him for a week.
I think that with my brother, with my parents, with my kids, some close friends, really just gave me the self-belief again that I could reboot and try to emulate what I do in the corporate sense but for myself and for my kids.
3. Old Structure and A New Game Plan
All the structure and the functionality that Mark had in corporate was “everyone knew what to d”. When he went into an entrepreneurial element, his world was turned upside down there was no standard procedure. Where did he fit, what was the game plan without the traditional structure?
Leadership means having the ability to recreate the script and create a new game plan.
A fresh perspective.
- Taking time to lay some solid foundations
- Accepting the support of those who are there for you
- Considering what you new values and purpose may be
In corporate, you can’t do it without reaching out across the silos of your business if you want success to occur. It’s the same with your personal life. If you don’t have those support mechanisms in play, if you don’t have those internal structures that will help you, it’s very hard to get on with the doing.
You have to be the CEO of your business and your life, and one of the things is we don’t nurture our personal relationships like we do our business relationships, but we have to go hand in hand.
4. Nurture Personal and Commercial Relationships
Men talk side by side. Women like to talk face to face. I’m sure there’s a blend, but generally speaking, as guys, just go and hang out. Go and arrange things. Pick up the phone to people you used to work with.
You’ve got to make it happen.
Close friendships, go really deep. They don’t give each other the benefit of being able to walk away from the depths of the conversation that’s required.In any relationship, any friendship, to have that vulnerability allows the true conversations to come to the forward.
5. Parting Points – Meaning, Goals And Actions
- Always dream and would dare big
- Find ways of getting those structures to be put in place
- Be true to you
You need to find your purpose, know that meaning isn’t just the financial bottom line but being a great partner, father, friend or family member. Personal and commercial success go hand in hand and when times are tight and challenges are faced that’s when you learn who you can lean on and what you really stand for.
If you’ve lost your Mojo then please reach out. The whole point of what I do and the guests on the show is to remind you that even the greatest achievers in life need a pit crew. You don’t need to have all the answers but you do need to find a safe place to talk, connect and reignite.
Drop me a line directly or leave a comment below.
We’d love your review on iTunes!
Yours in Vitality and special thanks again to Mark
AKA The Mojo Maker
NEW PODCAST INTRO: Chris Lochhead You’re A Legend..
Did you notice our new intro and outro? Special thanks to my uber funny friend and talented host of his own show Legends & Losers Chris Lochhead. We couldn’t share all the bloopers other wise my show rating would need to change… Thanks Chris, you’re a legend for lending your voice to my show.